Parenting is an interesting yet challenging job. All parents want to give the best for their children, but sometimes things don’t go as expected. Indeed, some parents do not realize that wrong solutions prevent their children from growing and being raised properly. The following article is based on neuroscience and psychology research and will help you understand how you can raise a genius child. In addition, by reading it, you will learn how to train children to become smarter and more self-reliant.
1- Parents should be gardeners, not carpenters, to raise their children!
Carpenters carve wood into the desired shape and size, while gardeners help plants grow with care and diligence. To raise a genius child, parents should be like gardeners, not carpenters.
Some parents, like carpenters who cut down a tree trunk and make a chair out of it, design a detailed and complete plan for their children’s future and do their best to reach their goal. For example, they want their child to become a doctor or a successful businessman. In this way, by providing the necessary conditions and sending him to the relevant universities, they force their child to become what they want. These parents do not know that their children may not interest in a career in medicine or business and may miss out on many opportunities in life by not pursuing their interests.
This while parents who are like gardeners in raising their children, take care of children like a delicate plant in the garden and by placing them in a free and safe environment, they raise independent, worthy and creative people.
In short, gardening parents give their children the opportunity to pursue their interests and build a successful life for themselves using future opportunities. If you can understand your child like a gardener who knows the conditions for the growth of his plant, and provide the necessary conditions for it, you can help him grow.
2- Instead of blaming the child himself, blame his behavior
When your child hits his siblings intentionally or accidentally, instead of telling him that he is a bad boy, tell him that he is misbehaving and that hitting others can hurt them both. Therefore, do not question your child’s personality and do not blame him. Instead, teach him good and bad behavior and ask him to correct his behavior.
3- Be a good role model for your child
As a parent, you are the closest person to your child. Children interest of the way you speak, act and act, and imitate them. In short, children learn everything instinctively by watching, playing and most importantly imitating adults. It is an effective way of learning and gives children a sense of ownership.
In this way, the child can imitate the good and bad behavior of those around him. So be careful how you talk or act. Note that children can imitate bad actions that they find funny because they are not yet able to distinguish between good and bad behavior. So do not forget that you are the most important role model for your child, and if you want to raise healthy and successful children, start reforming yourself.
4- Spend a lot of time talking to your child
Research shows that the brains of several-month-olds (who don’t understand the meaning of words) prime for future learning by hearing words. Therefore, the more words children will hear from you, the greater the effect of gaining knowledge in the future. In addition, the child will gain a broader understanding of the material and vocabulary, which is important for raising a genius child.
As children grow up, they begin to explore the world around them and explore the environment. As you know, the world is full of good and bad things. Meanwhile, you are like a tour guide who must help your child discover the secrets of the world around him and show him what is right and wrong. You need to prepare yourself mentally and logically to teach your child to avoid curiosity and secretly trying dangerous things like drugs and steroids.
5- Answer your child’s questions patiently
Your child understands the world around him and for this purpose he is constantly asking questions that might be boring for you. Remember that your child is solely counting on you for answers to their questions. When you explain something new to a child, he gains new knowledge of the world and enables him to better predict the world around him.
Be patient in answering your child’s questions and don’t do so out of boredom or anger. When a child gets answers to his questions completely and correctly, he will behave better and perform better, and this is an essential step in raising a genius child.
For example, many parents forbid their children to watch pornographic videos on the Internet by force and threats. This makes the child unable to understand what kind of psychological and physical damage watching these movies causes him and why parents are so against it. For this reason, parents are advised to speak clearly and logically to their children about the consequences of watching sexual videos.
Explain clearly to your child that he is not allowed to watch porn because these films lower his intelligence and self-esteem. This thinking helps children recognize and avoid the consequences of their actions.
6- Leave your child in the hands of people of trust and security
In addition to people such as grandparents, aunts and uncles that the child sees frequently, try to visit other people so that your child gets to know new faces, especially during infancy and childhood. According to research, children who regularly communicate with people who speak different languages and dialects learn other languages more effectively in the future and their brain system develops.
In this way, children who see different faces can recognize and remember more types of faces in the future. However, keep in mind that to keep your child safe, only spend with trusted people. In addition, pay attention to your child’s online relationships to prevent him from experiencing cyberbullying and harm online.
Read about: How do we help our child find friends?
7- When needed, get involved in your child’s work
Children like to try some things on their own, like dressing up or assembling a puzzle, without their parents’ help. This is very good because it creates a sense of independence and self-confidence in children. Sometimes what appear to be wrong actions of a child are done in order to understand the world and the environment around him.
For example, when a child drops toys on the floor, he is not looking for you to pick them up. In fact, it may be testing Earth’s gravity and gaining experience. So let your children understand that their actions affect the world around them.
However, there are exceptions in this area and in some cases it is necessary to carry out the necessary interventions. For example, when children reach puberty, they become less dependent on their parents. At this age, they become curious and may be influenced by their friends and start watching porn. To avoid this, you must install the necessary filters, control your child’s movements and electronic devices, prevent them from being harmed, and provide them with a safe and healthy environment.
But the question that has occupied the minds of many people is whether parental perfection is really necessary for the development of genius children. This important question is answered in the next section.
Parental perfectionism: good or bad?
Many parents with genius children try to make perfection a priority in their work. They believe that perfection will make their genius child reach high levels of development and develop their talents as much as possible. But the question is, is perfectionism really good or bad?
To understand this, we must first say that perfection is often confused with imperfection. There are two types of perfectionism, healthy and unhealthy. Unhealthy perfectionism means relentlessly striving for high standards. Perfectionism becomes harmful when we set rigid and inflexible standards and measure our children against them. This strictness causes harm to children, and fear of change and self-blame are only a small part of them. In the next section, you’ll learn more about the unhealthy consequences of perfectionism.
The unhealthy consequences of perfectionism
When perfectionism force upon a child, unhealthy conflict ensues. Unhealthy perfectionism can be difficult and exhausting for a gifted child. Talented perfectionists never satisfied with their performance even if they do something well. In addition, they face consequences such as depression and low self-esteem.
To better understand this, consider a child who is just beginning to learn music. Due to his high talent, this kid can work in any field of music that he is interested in.
It rehearses well at first, but as time goes on and the notes get more and more complex, it just stops working. But what is the reason? This is because the child is afraid of failure. He made good progress early in his career and everyone praised his talent. But as the lessons get more difficult, he loses some notes which makes him very stressed and frustrated.
Because of his perfection, this child is afraid of failure and constantly thinks about what will happen if he does not succeed and what will others think of him?
But what is the solution?
There is no doubt that all parents want their children to be good, which is why they embrace perfection. The best solution is to choose accessible and flexible standards for our children instead of having rigid and inflexible standards and leading them to a healthy and standard life. In other words, take the perfect in its positive and consistent form.
Don’t forget that changing your perfectionist beliefs takes persistence and practice, and that doesn’t mean you don’t have high standards. In fact, you have to adopt a more balanced and healthy thinking, and reach perfection, which increases your child’s motivation and makes him enjoy his efforts.